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And now death has no sting and no end. I've been transformed by the blood of the Lamb. Thank you, Jesus, for the blood of the Lamb. Thank you, Jesus, it has washed me white. Thank you, Jesus, you have saved me from the darkness. There is nothing stronger than the wonder walking past. The power that causes sons and daughters. We are awesome by your Father through the Lord. There is nothing stronger than the wonder walking past. The power that causes sons and daughters. We are awesome by your Father through the Lord. Thank you, Jesus, for the blood of the Lamb. Thank you, Jesus, it has washed me white. Thank you, Jesus, you have saved me. Glory to His name. Glory to His name. There to my heart. There to my heart was a bloodline. Glory to His name. Yes, lift up a praise. If you would, just right where you are. You can close your eyes or bow your head or lift your hands or put your hands on your heart. Just you and the Lord right where you are. God, we thank you today that as we gather to worship, as we gather, as we just sang, as we gather as your sons and daughters on this Father's, today, Sunday, that we remember that you, our heavenly Father, is perfect. That you've ransomed us. You've chosen us. You've provided for us. Your love and your care is extended to us in this moment and on this side of heaven and for eternity. We thank you that every moment of our life is not separate from you. That you care deeply as a Father. And I pray today that our hearts would be, be reminded that our thoughts would even be aware of your hand at work in our lives. In Jesus' name, amen. Amen. As we continue in our service, as you take your seats, would you greet one another? Our lower elementary students will begin to head to their classes. Upper elementary is going to stay with us today. Tell somebody, Happy Father's Day, if you haven't already. We're not in a big hurry. You can take your time. You don't have to greet each other. As we get set up up here, we're going to put a QR code on the screen. A little later in the service, we're going to have a giveaway for a dad among us. Now, every father that came in, we've got a small gift for you at the door. But if wives, children, you as a dad yourself would like to be entered to win the prize at the end of the day, you can do that right here. I actually have it with me. It is a $200 shield. It is a shield gift card that can be used, if you've ever been to Shields, on literally anything. That place is full of every option that you could possibly want. And someone in here is going to get to win it in just a little bit. Today, we have such a cool opportunity. We've done this for the last several years now. We did it just a few months ago, or last month, with the mothers. But we have a panel of fathers that today we're going to get to hear from. So with the dads on the panel, go ahead and make your way up here. You can pick your seat. We've got a mic for you on each one. We'll let them get settled. And I'd just like to say happy Father's Day to all the dads in the room. We're going to take some time to pray later in the service. But we're so glad that you're here. Praise God for the rain so no one has to mow today. Dads, get a little bit of rest from the yard work. We, today... Today are going to do something a little bit different than we've done the last couple years. Not with intention. But sometimes when we get panel environments and have some questions prepared, it's easy to create an expectation that the dads that we've chosen have all the answers. Or the people on the panel are going to teach us how to be good dads. And while I think that that could be done by all three of these men here on the stage, we're going to ask something different of them today. We're going to really dig into what it takes as a dad to really rely on God at work in your life. The vulnerability, the real dependence on God himself to navigate the weight of fatherhood. And hopefully share some times where we've struggled and had challenges and how the Lord has been faithful to us in that. I'd also like to acknowledge right here at the beginning of the day that Father's Day can be painful for some. There's probably many in this room that your relationship with your earthly father, your relationship as a dad with your kids, your relationship with the Lord himself has included some emotional or conflict, practical pain. And so I just want to say that today our heart would be that everyone, father, mother, grandparents, those without children, even kids, that if you're in this room, you'd be strengthened by the truth of depending on the Lord for all that we have. We're just going to approach it through this lens. So let me pray and then we'll introduce our panel today. So, God, we thank you so much for your goodness. We thank you for your hand on our lives, that in every way we can depend on you and that in our weakness you are made strong. And I thank you today for a moment of vulnerability and transparency to magnify through being honest about the weakness that we walk in as dads. So that we can walk in your strength, in Jesus name, amen, amen. All right. Well, first service, we did this differently this year as well. We've never done this before either, but we have two panels today. We had a first service panel and a second service panel on both campuses. So if you leave this morning feeling encouraged, then there's literally three other versions of this that you could go online and check out. And here's some other people sharing, answering similar questions. And, and I think again, it could be. Really, really encouraging, but to start, why don't we just go down the line, you guys introduce yourselves. Maybe give us your name, how many kids you have, how long you've been married and about how long you've been around DLC. Well, I'm Anthony Dixon. Um, been married, married to my wife, Kelly for 27 years in one week. Um, so we've, we've been together for 30, but I'm married for 27. We have four kids, um, Cody Tate, Riley, and Grayson. They all go to church. Uh, we've been here for about five years now. Um, yeah, so my name is Corey Murphy. I'm married to the most incredible woman in the world. Abby, uh, we've been married for six years, but we've been together for 12 this year. Um, we have been at DLC for six years and we have three awesome kids, uh, Baker, who was four rush, who is one and a half. And then MJ, who's just a couple of months old. I'm Daniel Gibson. I've been married for, I like to say 25. Okay. He tells me it's 24. I like that rounding. So in August we'll be 25 years. Uh, we have seven kids and they range from 25 to 13. We've been coming here for a couple of years. And then we came here in the tens, uh, 2010. So probably about four years altogether. That's great. You know, I'm, I'm really blessed today in the first service as well, because I personally am connected with these guys. Got to go through one-on-one with Anthony. And with Daniel and known Corey for many years and their kids have been a blessing to me in a million ways. Uh, the ones that are younger, that are a part of the kids ministry and the ones that are older that have helped us serve in that kids ministry. And so I hope today that as we go through these questions, that even the Lord will spark some things out of relationship and connection, because you guys are all connected with each other as well. None of that was on purpose. It just worked out that way. And so we're really excited. Um, well, maybe let's just get started by asking a simple question. When you were growing up, what was your understanding of fatherhood? How were you introduced to it? You know, if you want to talk about your relationship with your dad, or if you wanted to be a dad as a kid, but, but when you were a young man, uh, looking ahead in your life, what was your idea about fatherhood? And anyone can jump in to start. I'm the old guy. Um, mine was, uh, I come from a very long line. Of, uh, military. So to me, a father was, uh, discipline and respect, and that's what was, was given portrayed, you know, as a, as a father, I had a very loving father. I just didn't know it, you know, um, I had a great dad, I had a great mom, but, uh, it just, you weren't allowed to like really feel or have emotion. And so to me, um, I'm a sat now, so I, I'll probably cry. I. 57 times up here today. So I apologize. I'll just talk through it. But, uh, I'm, uh, with, with them, they, they showed love in, in different ways. What, you know, we grew up in, in a different, uh, timeframe, I'll say, um, where, where respect and discipline was different than it is today. It seems like, um, and so to me, uh, a father was strong and unwavering, you know, no emotion. Um, so to that was. That was, that was how I went into fatherhood. I know, I know we're going to come back to some more questions related to that, but yeah, that's a good, that's a good picture. Cause you would say that not only was that your experience, but that's what you carried in. That's what you were expecting to do as a dad. Absolutely. Yeah. All right. Corey, Daniel, what was your perspective of fatherhood? Yeah. Um, my dad was somebody who always, he's what some people would define as a workaholic. Um, he loves to work and he. I owe a lot to him as far as work ethic and giving your all to everything that you do. And it didn't really matter how many things he had going on. I literally, I was thinking about this in the first service. And as I was going over these questions, I can't recall a thing that I had, an event that I had, a sporting event that I was doing that my dad wasn't present for. Um, he just always made sure that he was present for everything that I was doing and my brother. And so really I. Like looking back on it, the example of fatherhood to me was being present, which I'll probably talk about later. I did a great disservice to my kids early on of being present, but that's how fatherhood was introduced to me. Was it somebody who was present, who was there, maybe not giving all the verbal affirmation or, or love in the sense of how I wanted to receive it, but he was always there. He always gave me the best of who he was. So I remember whenever I was young, you know, thinking about father, uh, you know, my dad. Um, I remember when I was real little, man, I love my dad, like crazy. Um, you know, when you go to school and you get to shop in the little bookstore or whatever, I remember getting things like the world's greatest dad penny. Cause I thought that was like, you know, get him something like that. Um, but it was, uh, you know, it wasn't too much longer, maybe around 10, 11, that like a ton of that shifted. Um, and it turned into like the worst. So I actually grew up from that 10, 11 period till I was close to. Uh, you know, graduating high school. And I mean, it was like the worst experience, you know, it was kind of really opposite of what you had. My dad was never there for anything I did. Um, you know, as far as my extracurriculars or anything like that. Uh, but you know, at the end, you know, things started shifting and I actually felt like I would never see him again. Whenever I left, it was going to be, this will be the it, you know, I'm, I'm out. And, you know, just the, the kind of, you know, mental abuse and things that I went through. It was like. I'm never going to put myself in this situation, you know, ever again. And we had some healing at the end and, you know, things that had shifted and that wasn't the case, but that was the first, like, even as I became a Christian, I was like, wow, that, you know, and I started thinking of God as a father. That was the, I had to overcome a lot of that, not being there, you know, being disappointed. Like I can never be good enough, that kind of a thing. So, um, you know, a lot of the lessons that I've learned, you know, on this side of it was like from what? Not to be like, so that was, I would say probably my, my initial experience was I thought fathering was amazing. And then it really took a turn. Let's key in on something you just said, Daniel, about how relationships with our natural dads can overflow into our relationship with the Lord. So as each of you described how you perceived fatherhood, do you recognize that that's been a particular thing that has been a strength? Or a weakness in your understanding of your relationship with the Lord? Like, for example, you know, Anthony, would you say that it's easy to move towards God's a disciplinarian and he's, you know, that kind of thing. Just maybe talk about that for a minute. How has your view of fatherhood, your earthly dad been something that the Lord's had to bring some healing, even in your relationship with him? I would say that, um, that's a very valid point. We, uh, I early, I grew up in church. Um, my dad taught Sunday school. My mom was a secretary, you know, I mean, I've literally grew up in church, but I had no relationship with Christ at all. Um, I was what I call, I was, I was a believer. Um, but that was, that was what I, I knew was the disciplinary side of it. I did wrong. I've got to repent. Um, there was no relationship there. There was no love that I allowed God to love because of, of sure. That's why it's just, we didn't open up to what God is. And the power that he has, the love that he shows. Yeah. So whenever I, uh, first became a dad, you know, there was a lot of, of, I was young, I was 17, so I didn't know anything and, but I knew I wanted to be a good dad. Like I was in that role. So it was like, all right, I got to figure this out. You know? So a lot of the, the things that I leaned on was literally the opposite of what I knew was like, oh, well, I don't want to do that. You know? Like, for instance, I kind of made it a mantra of mine. I'm never going to yell. Like my kids will joke and there's a, you yell all the time. I'm like, I never yell. So we were just talking about this last night. That's funny. Uh, yeah. So that was one of the things like, I'm not going to yell. I didn't want to have that, you know, be said of me, you know, whenever my kids are older and things of that nature. So knowing that as I'm, so I'm getting a grasp of, you know, Jesus and God and the Bible, you know, I'm 17, 18, 19. Like getting a, I'm starting to understand, like, I actually want Christianity to be my identity, not just going to church or anything like that. I never, I don't think I ever knew of God being described as father. So whenever I heard that, and like, that was being explained to me, that was like a really weird, you know, concept for me. And of course, through thinking of like what an actual dad is, you know, I'm like, whoa, that's a, I had to really wrestle through that. And, and I know. I knew that I was probably going to be, you know, cause I had a mentor when I was young about this. I knew that I was going to be challenged with how that can affect me because of my relationship with my father. Um, so early on, I didn't have such a struggle to, uh, kind of fix those thoughts, you know, it was like, okay, that's not the way, but this is actually the truth. So I was able to kind of climb over that a little bit easier than probably some others. Yeah. I would say, I want to kind of preface this. Little statement with saying that like my feelings aren't always my reality. Um, but growing up with a dad who was always there, but at the same time, didn't give me a lot of the, my love language is words of affirmation. And that's just not my dad. It's just not as natural wiring. Um, he showed his love for me and being there and being present and making sure that I knew that I was supported in everything I did. But because I never got the words to match the action. I kind of fostered that. I kind of fostered that. And so now that you've mentioned that, there's a lot of room for change in your life as a person. I mean, I grew up in a village. I grew up in a village, but I was still. I was still where my parents were. I was still at a church. I was still in a church. I was still going out and I was still trying to bring myself up and seem to be a good person. And I think you're, that's definitely a lot of things. I've been, I think I've been very, very passionate about that as well, but it has a lot of layers to it. You know, I've been so passionate about family. I love my family. It's been the housing and the place. session and I went up for prayer and I was talking to the leader that I was praying with and I was kind of explaining some of that and they laid their hands on me and they said, Lord, I just pray that you would help him to see that he doesn't have to perform anymore. Like it's not a show and he doesn't have to do anything to earn your love and you don't love him any less and you don't love him anymore because of the things that he does. And that broke something off of me. I but I portrayed my own orphan heart onto the father and the Lord really has had to walk me through this healing journey of even in my own perception that when I'm doing bad, God's not loving me less. And when I think I'm doing really good, God's not loving me more that like it's constant and it's never changing. You know, let's stay here for a second, Corey, just because of our proximity, I'm aware of some of this that you've shared over the years. Would you say, so what you're describing between you and the Lord is really a journey that every individual would go on is the idea that I don't have to earn God's love and I can't, I can't over earn it and add more on top and I'm not going to under perform and then be punished and that kind of thing. Do you notice that that step mindset shows up in your parenting when maybe you make a mistake or something goes wrong as a dad that you then go to a first step? Is towards, oh no, I'm a bad dad. This is not good. Do you, do you notice that? Uh, yeah. Yeah. Um, you know, one of the hardest journeys for me as a dad, because I always wanted to be a dad, like because of the place that my dad had in my life and how much I looked up to him as a real role model in my life, I always wanted to be a dad, but also had this non nonstop fear that I was going to do nothing but fail at it. Um, I've never been more afraid than when my first son was born. I've never been more afraid than when my first son was born. I've never been more afraid than when my first son was born. Like it was a moment of the most extreme version of love that I felt like I could pour out. And at the same time, like this terror that was on me that I was going to, I was going to screw him up and the journey with the Lord of like understanding, not just up here, but really understanding and experiencing that I'm going to make mistakes, but the Lord makes up the gaps and that ultimately they're his kids. Like they're my care to steward, but they're his kids. And that journey has been, it's been a hard one for me because it requires me to let go of control, but there's just, there was a ton of fear and there's still a degree of it today of like, I'm going to screw my kids up. Yeah. We, we at our house, JC and I'll be like, that's an encounter retreat. Uh, whenever something, something I was like, Oh, they're going to work that out someday. Um, so we, we prepared questions, get questions ahead of time. For a couple of different reasons. Number one, we want to make sure that people have time to gather their thoughts and, uh, not everybody is like quick to process that kind of thing, but also because as a dad, as a mom, when you're sharing stories that are an overflow into such a personal area of your life, something that you have such great care for, we didn't want anybody to be in a position where they would speak about their kid or about their dad or about whatever, and not have a chance to go. Talk with them. And so I'm saying that now to say, basically every question I've asked so far has been one that we've prepared for and that kind of thing. I'm about to ask a question that they have not prepared for. So I'm giving you context in case they need a minute to think a little bit of warning for you guys too, as it relates to like mistakes. And I'm going to go all the way for the sake of the failure failures as a dad. Do you think about failure or mistakes in this season of your life as a dad? I would say absolutely. Used to, it was devastating. You know, just what have I done? You know, just what have I done? You know, just what have I done? You know, just what have I done? Nobody can fix this. This is, you know, my wife's going to hate me. My kids are going to hate me. Just the whole of everything. And now I can kind of step back and say, I've done so much so far, but God has just turned it around. You know, we fail daily, whether you want to admit it or not. You know, so I think one of my things was, I always felt like I needed to be heard and I was always right. So it doesn't matter if I was wrong or not. I'm right. Because I'm dad. I'm dad. Yeah. And so that was the realization of not being right was difficult, but it also allowed me to step back and say, okay, God, I'm not right. Now, how do we fix it? And having grown kids, that realization didn't happen until I had grown kids. And so having grown kids to be able to come along me and say, Hey, you screwed that up. You know, let's do it this way. Um, that that's how God showed me. It's okay. It's okay to, to screw it up and to admit that you're, you're wrong in this. Um, so probably whenever I was younger and my kids were younger, so Allie's my oldest, she's 25, maybe for the first. So I, um, golly. So Emin would have been a baby when she was nine. So we had four right out of the, you know, nine down or whatever. Um, probably in that zone when she was real tiny to Allie being around 10 ish. At that point in my life, I didn't really think about making mistakes as a parent. Cause I mean, they're just little kids. Like they're going to figure it out. You know, like that's just being real. Cause I didn't think of my parents making mistakes with me. I didn't even think that was a thing probably. I mean, we were in church every week. I mean, I was a youth pastor, so man, we're just humming along. But as I get older and start seeing my kids, especially my oldest, uh, that Allie lives in Rhode Island. So she's not around much, but especially like Jordan and Tristan, they're older. They remind me of how much I'm making mistakes now because my, my younger kids are getting away with murder and they would have been grounded, severely beaten or whatever, you know, exiled. So now I see it and I'm like, yeah, but it'll be all right. You know? So, um, you know, I know I'm making a little bit lighter of it, but, uh, the mistakes that I'm making, you know, after that 10 years of Allie being a lot, you know, so probably 15 years, like the, the realizations of the mistakes that I make, I've grown in the fact of, or in the sense of being able to recognize it a little bit better and owning it, um, instead of justifying or passing it off to something else or whatever. You know, I'm not going to make a, I'm not making a judgment about either thing that you guys said, cause I, I totally relate to it. I'm just interpreting what I think I'm hearing. I know for dads, there's this thing that is just real about our perspective, but what we see, the thing that's important to us wins. And we're, we're seeing the world through our own eyes and, you know, the things that are in our head, the things that we are coming from, that is what's going to be on our radar. And I think that before the Lord, with the responsibility to lead our homes and that there's an element of focus and determination, and dedication to the thing that we've set our hand to that is required to be a good dad. But when our flesh gets mixed up in it and the things on the side get missed, or, you know, we, we go past where our kids are, we get too far ahead and we're dragging them along. I think that that that's really hard. And, and you guys both alluded to it, but there's almost nothing in my experience as a dad, that's more humbling than when my kids show me grace. When I, I've done something wrong and I've messed up and it's just true. And then they show me grace. I've told this story before, but I had to confess sin to my son Bennett when he was two, just two years old. And it was, it was sin that I didn't know how to explain to him. And, and so I just was all day long. I was feeling the weight of this conversation. I didn't know what to say. And so I went into his room and I sat him down and I said, Bennett, I was really mean to your mom. And I said, I'm really sorry. I did some things I shouldn't have said. And I did some things I shouldn't have done. And I've talked to her and she forgives me, but that's your mom. And I'm really sorry. And I need to tell you that I've done that too. And ask you to forgive me. And little two-year-old Bennett stands up on his bed and points his finger at me and says, you be nice to my mom. You say nice words and you be nice to her. And I said, Bennett, you're so right. And I'm so sorry. Will you please forgive me? And he said, yeah. And he kissed me on the head and jumped off his bed and ran out of the room. I mean, just couldn't, could not have been more like even the, even the expression of him agreeing with that it was wrong and then being like, yeah, of course I forgive you. I just laid in his bed for like 45 minutes. I couldn't get up. And, and so there's a thing about whether they're little, you know, I imagine you've had moments like that with Baker at this point and, and, you know, the, the younger version or with the adult children that there's almost nothing that moves you as a dad than when your kids show you grace. So, yeah, I don't know. Just that stood out to me. Let me ask another question, getting back to the ones that we've kind of prepared, but keeping this in mind, what are some of the lies that you've had to really battle as a dad? And I wonder as you guys have, yeah, brought some notes or maybe have some thoughts. I wonder if there are some lies about you and the temptation to feel inadequate or less than, or, you know, that kind of thing, but also maybe some lies that you took on of. This is what a father is supposed to be. I wonder if, if what, anything in that category, what are some lies that you've had to deal with? Well, I kind of touched on it already. I always had the feeling that I was always right, you know, and, and, and I had to be heard. And that's, that's the biggest lie. I think that I, I really don't. I didn't care what they thought, you know, didn't care what their feelings were or anything. We're just, this is the avenue. This is, you know, the end. Result. And this is how we're going to get, get on board or, you know, I'm going to make it. And that was, that's such a lie. It's none of us. Feel the father come along and put his hand on us and help us through those prayers and that stuff. And that's what we should be as a father to our children is helping them along versus getting. So I'd say that was my biggest, I guess I would say one of the biggest lies that I would struggle with would be that my kid's behavior is a reflection of my parenting, whether good or bad. You know, something that the Lord's been stirring in my heart recently of like, am I, am I just trying to modify their, their behavior or am I pointing them to the one that can really change their heart? And like, even, you know, Baker's four, Rush can't talk yet. He's working on it, but he can't talk yet, but Baker communicates pretty well. And so, I'm just really feeling the weight and the responsibility as he's this young to constantly point him, even in his failure or in his good of like, if he does something wrong, yes, let's address the action. Let's talk about the sin. There is consequence for sin. And at the same time, let him know like, Hey, without Jesus, like this never gets any better. And like, I'm with you in the struggle, like we're in it together. I'm not, I'm not against you. Like one of the things that I've consistently noticed as I've disciplined my kids is I, I always try to tell them, daddy's not mad at you because I want him to know like there's consequences, but I'm not upset with you. Like, I'm not angry at you and understanding that I'm not the ultimate shepherd of their soul that, but I want to point them to the one who is, and just really seeing myself in a light of humility that I don't have the power to make them behave good anyway. And even when they do good, that's not because they're not angry at me. I'm just trying to I'm an awesome parent, but that's because God's faithful. And when they do bad, that's not a reflection necessarily of me being a bad father, but I want to point them to the one who can change their heart. Yeah. The sin in our kids is present without our help. And so like, just because there's things that is happening in the lives of our children does not mean that, that there's failure there necessarily. There can be things that the Lord's bringing out to show us that there's more that we need to step into for sure. And we want to even, as dads take the correction of the Lord in that, but in the same way, God's grace is present in our kids without our help. And so, yeah, I think that's excellent for you. I would say probably I had two things, but I can remember one. Probably the biggest thing is now because I'm on this side of it would be just that the regrets that I have would outweigh like the good stuff that's gone on for the last 25 years. Because as your kids start moving out, I've had five of them out and a couple returned and then move back out. So when they start leaving, it's like, oh man, we didn't do this. Or, you know, I remember whenever I dropped Allie off at college and I was like, you know, we're about to leave or whatever. And I was like, dang, there's still so much to teach you, you know, and not like I had a book that I needed to like send out or whatever, but I just knew like, oh, you have so much to learn, you know, and she's 18 or whatever it is. And so there's like this regret that just, I mean, every one of them that have went out, I'm like, oh man, did I do enough? You know what I mean? And, um, at that point it's, I have to trust that God is, you know, ultimate, like just what you're saying. You know, it's like, he's ultimately the one that shepherds them and I just have to lead them to him and, you know, show them. And then they, it's on them at this point. Now we disciple them and make sure we help them as adults and keep moving on the right path. So that would be the first one. Um, the second one would be, uh, the things that you know are good that you kind of pass over. So for instance, like people who give you good advice, they're like, man, somebody did something really good in their parenting journey. And they give you that advice and you're like, okay. And you adopt it, but then you get away from it. Like for instance, eating dinner at the table every night, like you can quickly get out of that type of a habit or something, whatever it is, it doesn't matter what the parenting tip is. But I know that God gives us wisdom through, of course, our mentors and the things that we learn just every day or whatever. But that is one of the things that I have to like tuck our kids in the ones that, you know, want to be tucked in. Um, but you can quickly just get out of that habit and like, it doesn't matter, but the next day you better be back up there praying. You know what I mean? So things like that, that's, I don't want to like, let that little, that's always a temptation to let that lie, get in there and mess stuff up. So. You know, to, to draw a connection to another area of life, but to highlight the point you're making, that's like, anytime you make a decision to embrace healthy habits and you eat good for five days and you feel great, it's easy to not eat as good for the next several because you're feeling good. It's working. And as you can put things in place in your home and you feel the strength of it, it's easy to feel like, oh man, this is going so great. And then it drifts away. And so much, I believe, parenting lives of fatherhood really is the discipling of the Lord. And it's us bringing discipleship into our home in whatever ways that looks like, by the way, dads, it is your God given responsibility to disciple your home. And if you don't know what that looks like, that's okay. There's lots of people who do and want to support you in that. And that you are graced as a father to bring correction, to bring instruction. You're equipped as a father to do that. Even if you don't feel that way. And so as we bring discipleship into our home and draw on the strength of that, I wonder if you guys could identify where you have been discipled as a dad. What in your life from the time that you became a father to today has become the most different or the most Christ-like in comparison to what it once was? Where have you been discipled in your journey of fatherhood? I'll start this one. So whenever we were first becoming Christians, I, you know, I told you about my dad and there was a lot of, you know, unhealth there. And whenever we started having kids, so we had Allie, then Jordan and our pastor was a part of our, in our life. We had really not, I mean, even my wife's family was, you know, her family was broken as well. So it was like to see good, healthy parenting and how do you raise little ones like this? And I was like, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know. It was like being in other people's lives and allowing them permission to speak into what you're doing in your walk. I mean, that was for us. So we spent, you know, three years of intentionally being around people who were, we felt like were way ahead in us in the journey, even though their kids were like, you know, right there with us, but they were just modeling what it looked like to, you know, what we sensed was a Jesus loving home and how you raise the kids to be that way. It was, it was actually spending Friday night, Saturday night, Saturday nights and Sunday afternoons, you know, when we were off of work, we were around people who were, we wanted to see what it looked like. You know, we weren't waiting for somebody to ask us, can I be a part of your life? I want to disciple you. We were, we were looking. Let me put a trait on that, which I would say is humility. The humility to say, I need some help. We want to draw from people, that kind of thing. I think that is tremendous. And certainly, I think a challenge for the average person and certainly a challenge for the average father. That's great. Anybody else where you've been discipled? Yeah. I would say that this house has a ton of response or a ton of credit to how I've been discipled as a father, because there's been so many people, a part of this house that have just willingly embraced me and my family willingly loved and cared and loved our kids. And it's not even like they're coming and they're saying, Hey, like you're screwing up right here and I want to help you. It is. It's just being around people who love and care for you and who you get to watch live a life that is godly and that is good and that is holy and that is right. And you just pick up on things through life experience and relationship. But probably the thing that I've been discipled in the most, which again, comes from this house would be like really trusting in the sovereign hand of God, even over my kids. Um, the, I never knew Tommy Williams. Um, but I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I talk about him or I talk to people about him a lot, um, because he was so well loved and respected in this house. And Michael and I were talking about him the other day. And he said something that Tommy used to say all the time that like really changed his life. And he was like, you have to see the sovereign hand of God in your life, even before you were a believer. And when he said that, I was like, Oh man, like that's, that's heavy. And it's something that I've been thinking about for the last few weeks. And it's like, God was so faithful to me, even when I was an unbeliever to lead me and guide me to the life that I live today. And I have to trust that same sovereignty for my kids that like, even when I mess up, he's going to make up the lack. And even where I think I'm doing great, it's actually just his grace and really submitting my kids to the Lord as they're not under my control. Like that's something that I've drawn from people around me and examples and stories and, and just life. I would say, um, I've touched on discipline and stuff like that. And anytime we'd go anywhere, uh, or our kids were somewhere at someone else's house or something that we'd pick them back up and they were like, man, you have the best kids. They just mind. And, you know, we, we go out to eat and they, they sit like they're supposed to, and they're not yelling and screaming and running all over the place. And, and I was always, you know, I mean, they, they know, you know, um, so I, I would, I guess the, the discipleship of that was, understanding that that was brokenness that got a heel, sorry, later, you know, um, they did that out of fear, not out of love. And as they've grown, the bigger ones, you know, understand that, uh, that there's, there's fear implemented there. Um, but it was out of the father's love that they can now say, Hey, you know, I see that. I see where you were coming from. Um, even though it was a, a, a dark spot, it became life because of, of the father. That's excellent. Um, you know, I'm going to jump down to the very last part of the very last question talking about strength, but let me say this too. I think this is important. There is a thing happening culturally that, and I think this has really happened for all of time. If you've ever watched a sitcom or a cartoon, the dad character is always a doofus and, you know, weak and ineffectual and, and goofy and whatever. And so there's this culture that tries to undermine fatherhood. I think that that's the enemy. And I think that that's real. I think that in response though, there are times as Christians and, and as a culture in another wave that our response back, unfortunately is really empowered by the flesh and that the answer to trying to take the legs out of fatherhood is to, uh, stomp our feet harder and to be louder. And it's, you know, forgive the joke, but it's Eagles tanks and shotguns and, you know, just manly, manly type of stuff. And so up here on the stage in front of you are, you know, we've got military service, we've got extreme, you know, athletes, we've got health, we've got generations, we've got grandparents, we've got people that are are providing, that run their own businesses, that, I mean, we have manly men sit on the stage right now and they're tearing up thinking about their kids. And so I want, this is important, I believe, to say that the answer to this thing coming against fatherhood is not a response in the flesh, but instead to lean into the strength of the Lord. And so that's going to be our question to end here is, how have you, how has the Lord, or how have you worked out, how have you approached it, your understanding of what it means to be strong as a dad that maybe is a little bit unconventional in the way that you might've thought or what the world might say or that kind of thing, but what does it mean to you to be, to have strength as a dad? I'll say, when I was thinking about this question, I thought, man, there's what I've, you know, cause there's so many, but I will touch on the fact that what kept standing out to me was the fact that piggybacking off of what you said, everything that we think as a man makes you good, makes you a good dad or a man is, is the opposite, you know, the, the strength and the don't show weakness and we're the superhero and, you know, dah, dah, dah, dah, the, the cliche of, of what the world views as strength is, is so it's, it's the exact opposite of, of what strength actually is. And, the father wasn't any of those, you know, he, he was soft and kind and gentle and loving. That's, that's, that's true. Um, okay. So I'm not a real strong guy. This is, that's whenever I saw this question, I was like, oh my gosh. Uh, but the, um, the thing that I think if, if I'm going to give the Lord credit in this situation or with this type of question is there's a, um, you know, like I, I understand what, Anthony was saying earlier, whenever he was like, man, it's my way, we got to figure this out and it's gotta be this way. Um, I think that the, the being able to hone in on a strength is first understanding the weakness. So like with our family, um, one of the things that I think has been a strength for me, especially is just being vulnerable. Um, and my kids have seen, you know, my wife and I in vulnerable spots and we talk about everything and we talk about it in real time. And, and we didn't really know if that would be good or not, but it just kind of just happened. It was one of those things where I didn't really think about mistakes, you know? Uh, but now like on the flip side, so my older kids are like, man, we're glad we saw you argue in front of us. We're glad we saw you talk about money or whatever the thing was that, you know, probably most of you don't talk about in front of your kids. Um, and they're like, because now that I'm an adult, I can, oh yeah, like I can wrestle through that. And you know, those types of things, like if you're, if you're, if you're, if you're, if you're, if you're, if you're, if you're in a bad spot, like with us, we've argued in front of our kids a ton. And I know that, you know, some people don't do that, but that's a weakness in what you think. And the Lord has made something good out of that, which I never realized that could happen. Um, and knowing whenever you're weak, that he can take something like that is a huge confidence, just like Joseph, you know, what you intended for, or what, you know, was it going to be bad for me? Actually, God used that for good and man that's my hope like even as i think through all the regrets and all the things it's like as long as god can use any of that stuff and bring something good and strong out of it for my i've got seven kids so you know they hopefully they have 25 more kids i am a grandpa too you're the only one not a grandpa up here i will say grandparenting is way better yeah yeah yeah and every grandparent in the room said amen yeah so i would just say that you know being vulnerable and realizing that i think we can be strong yeah there's a scripture in second corinthians 12 where paul says in my weakness you know his strength is magnified or something along those lines i know i just totally butchered that um his strength is made strong and i think in this my whole life you know going back to the lies that we dealt with you know i think in this my whole life you know going back to the lies that we dealt with i always thought that anything that i thought was bad or like even the lie of like you need to you need to perform for love well there's also um it's not shrugging off the correction of the father in the midst of the lie of the enemy and that sounds weird when i say it but like anything that is anything that stings there's probably a little bit of truth in it and so anything that i'm struggling through i want my kids to see me struggle through it and i want that i want to be a model of, as Jonathan would say, bear-hugging brokenness and falling on the rock and falling on the sword and owning my wrong. And I want my kids to see that being strong doesn't mean that you never mess up and it doesn't mean that you're never going to get it wrong. But being strong actually just means that, no, God, I'm really, really weak and I really, really need you. And the dependency upon the Lord is what I want my kids to glean from my life. If there was one thing that I could pinpoint that I want my kids to take away from my life is that they see that I need him. And that's what the world would call weakness, but that's not actually not weak at all. It's weak in my own pride and it's weak in my own strength, but it's actually where I'm the strongest. And so I always, when I was growing up, I always thought that being strong meant the manly man, the machine guns, and you never fail. And you're the one that everybody can go to with every problem that you always have. But really, it's just a complete and total dependence upon the Lord that if he doesn't show up and I'm in charge, I'm going to mess it up. If being a good dad means that you have to make no mistakes, then being a good dad means you have to be willing to be a liar. And it's like, no, no, no, we're going to make mistakes. We're going to own it. We didn't spend a lot of time talking about the value of repenting to your kids, but we'd be remiss if we didn't take a second to say, as a dad, there's very little that is as to the generations and to equipping your kids as what Corey's describing right now, the idea of letting them see God work in your life through repenting. And if that's repenting to your spouse and working stuff out a little bit because they observed something and you need to go back and make it right to them as well. And if it's repenting for something you've done directly to them or for something, I'm sure there's been, Anthony, as you've shared, there's been seasons where you've repented not for a specific thing, but for an atmosphere. Absolutely. I always had a saying, I would kind of, you know, raise the kids up on it, own it, accept it, change it. You know, if you mess it up, accept it and change it. Let's fix it. You know, that was always my go-to for them, but I never lived it. So I started living by that. There started becoming a lot of healing. Yeah, man, that's so good. Guys, can we give a big round of applause for our panel today? Don't go anywhere yet. You know, don't have an opportunity for like a traditional altar call. Abigail, if you're in here and you want to come play. Yeah, perfect. But I do want to make time to pray over some dads. And so what I'm going to do, you guys weren't prepared for this, so forgive me. But if you're here today and you're a dad, and I'm just pulling on the specific comments that were made in this service, and you would say that you either really struggle with control or, or taking on the culture and performance of your children, and that there's a little bit of heaviness there. Or if you would say that you really just need some encouragement in a hard season, that you're right in the middle of it. There's things that you don't have an answer to. You're feeling like you're missing the mark. You're feeling like failure. And you just need some encouragement on this Father's Day. If that's you and you're a dad in the room, would you just stand up and say, I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this. If that's you and you're a dad in the room, would you just stand up where you are? There's no kind of traditional environment, so it's going to be a little bit of pressure on you. But we want to pray for you. So that applies to anybody. And you just want to stand up. We want to make time to pray. If you're willing, would y'all just come stand down here and would you guys gather around them to just pray for them? Is that all right? If you stood up and if you didn't stand up, but would like to make your way down here, you just come kind of gather here in the front. These guys are just going to come around you. If you're in sitting, in a seat as a dad, this may not be the thing that you need in this moment or in this season. We know you need something. We all know we're carrying something. So if this is not a moment for you, that's okay. Just whatever it is that you need. Just make your heart sensitive to that with the Lord. We're just going to take a minute to pray. Any elders or prayer team or anybody else that wants to come gather around too, y'all come up here and we're going to lay hands in. If you're sitting in the seats, you can just pray. Be prayerful there. Reach your hands out. God, today, we just take a moment to remember that everything of our life, our spouses, our children, our parents, our jobs, the city you've placed us in, our friends, the church body you've connected us to, every single thing is because you've provided to us what it is that you've decided to provide. That you've given to us all that we need to do all that you've asked. I pray over the dads this morning, and I just ask that you would encourage and strengthen them. That even in a moment of correction, even in a moment of challenge, even in a moment of pain, that does come with vulnerability of acknowledging the weakness of our flesh, that even in that moment that you would show yourself kind and gracious, that there would be a supernatural endurance for the fathers in the house today. That they would continue to parent, that they would continue to provide and protect, that they would continue to love their home and serve their home and give their life to the home that you've assigned to them. I pray for those today that are in relationships with their children or with their fathers that are interrupted or conflicted or altogether disconnected. And we pray for those that are in relationships with their children or with their fathers that are We pray for restoration today. We pray that you would be present, not just restoration of communication, not just restoration of proximity, but that you supernaturally would bring restoration, that there would be repentance, that in acknowledgements of sin, that the unforgiveness that we might carry, that you would come and correct and displace that and make a pathway for forgiveness where previously there had felt like there had been no pathway. God, I pray for the dads in the room that are crying. Those that have come up here and those in their seats that would say, Lord, here is where I'm at and I need you. I pray that our crying to you would happen sooner and earlier and quicker and more completely than it does. I know what it feels like to walk into things and trying to solve it on my own and then to remember that I can ask you, Lord, for encouragement and help. I know what it feels like to try to do things in my own strength and to come to you late. I ask that you would remind me of that. I ask that you would remind me of that. I ask that you would remind us of our dependence on you, that you would call us close to you. God, we thank you that you are the great, good, heavenly, complete, perfect Father and that everything on earth that we miss as a father from our fathers, everything that we miss on earth, that we miss nothing in you and that you make up all the difference. I pray for these men here today that have come forward and saying that they need you in this season. I pray again. I pray against the lies of inadequacy. I pray against the lies that would say that they're not equipped or that they're not called or that they don't have what they need. I pray against the lies that would say that they need to maintain control or that they need to possess their family for it to be right, but instead that they would release and that they would trust and that in their acknowledgement and trust and release to you that they would be empowered by your spirit. God, I thank you on this Father's Day that you are good. I thank you on this Father's Day that you're trustworthy. In Jesus' name, amen. Amen. Guys, thank you today for making room to hear from the dads. One more time, would you give a round of applause for our panel? You know, for lots of people, just speaking in front can be, oh, you need to get your water there. Just speaking in front of people can be overwhelming, but having to speak in front and share that level of vulnerability and just be honest is a big deal. We're blessed today because they were willing to do that. So if it is your first time here, we're so glad that you're here. Maybe you came with your father today, or maybe you just happened to be here this Father's Day morning. We're so glad that you came. In the seat back right in front of you, you can grab the welcome card, fill that out, and drop it in either bucket as you leave. They're right by the doors. And even though our service is a little different today, this is the time when we bring our tithes and our offering and our missions giving. And I am so, I mean, we say it every week. We talk about the things that we're able to be connected with because of your faithfulness and your generosity. Actually, next week, we get a chance to hear about some folks in the body and the way that they live generously, including things like tithing and other ways. It's going to be a huge blessing to hear from them as well. But I think today, as I pray over those that are bringing tithes and offerings, I want to pray along the lines of just being reminded that the Lord provides and that He as a Father is taking care of us and that His Word says that we'll have no want, that He's leading and guiding us. And so as you prepare your gift, I'll pray and then we'll watch our announcements. God, thank you that you as our Heavenly Father do provide. And as your Word declares that my God will supply all my needs, my Heavenly Father will provide everything that I need. And I pray that you will provide everything that I need. And I pray that you will provide everything that I need. And I pray that every incident of life, every moment of challenge and difficulty that we face related to finances in this moment, I pray that we would become even more dependent on you. I thank you, God, for those that give faithfully, that you would bless them, that you would give more and above and beyond, and that the step of returning the 10% back to you somehow, you do more with 90 and we can do with 100. And I just ask, God, that your provision, continue and continue and continue in every way that you desire. In Jesus' name, amen. Amen. Let's watch these announcements. Hey, DLC fan. My name is Tricia, and we are so glad you're here today. Let's check out a few announcements. Don't forget, our Summer is for Family Parenting Seminar is happening again this Wednesday night on the Claremore campus with Marriage Seminar starting the following week, July 1st. We pray these will be nights of encouragement and strengthening. For parents and couples in the body, sign up for child care at dlc-signup.com. Hey, men of DLC, don't forget the men's breakfast is coming up Saturday, June 27th at 8.30 a.m. on the Claremore campus. For all the info, go to dlc-signup.com. Freedom Celebration is right around the corner. Freedom! Please join us Thursday, July 2nd, for an amazing night of fireworks and fun for families. For all the info or to sign up to serve, visit dlc-signup.com. Save the date. Sunday night, July 5th, is our monthly Meet the Family dinner. This is a time for anyone who is new to DLC to come and eat a free meal and connect with our pastoral team while getting to know a little bit more about Destiny Life. Let us know you're coming at dlc-signup.com. Well, that's all for this week. If you have a prayer need, please let us know. We would love to be in prayer with you. You have a great week, DLC. A couple other quick announcements, really important, is that, our fireworks stand is now open. Many of you over the years have either been connected to, served in, been a part of our fireworks stand. It is an incredible fundraiser that we do for our youth ministry. It's at our Owasso campus. If you're going to buy fireworks this year, please consider driving just a few minutes down the road. Now, with the highway, it's easier than ever to buy some fireworks. And many students will be working the fireworks stand to raise money for camp, which is coming up at the end of this year. So, if you're interested, you can go to our youth page. Check that out. We would love for them to be a part. And finally, the Shields gift card, $200 to spend on who knows what. There's so many things there. I love Shields. This particular dad is an incredible dad here among us. His kids are awesome. And this dad happens to serve in many ways. So, if you're interested in going to camp, you can go online to our youth the next generation serving in our kids ministry too. And could not think of a more deserving father this morning, Tony Rodriguez. Happy Father's Day, Tony. Hey, would you stand with me? Let's pray as we go. God, thank you today for fathers. Thank you that you express yourself in the earth in part through family. We thank you for the families that you've given to us and the challenges that come with it. But we trust you. We pray today that every family among us, every father among us would be encouraged and strengthened as they go in Jesus' name. Amen. Amen. You're dismissed.
